Anthony has reached the 3 month mark. He's wonderful! He sleeps, hardly cries and is growing so fast I'm cleaning out his drawers and closet every two to three weeks. He's in 6-9 months clothing already. At his two month check up he was pushing 13 lbs and 23 inches. I find it absolutely amazing that my body has been able to nourish him so well. Just look at those little thigh rolls!
Although, with that pride of nourshing him so well, I've suffered. I've almost given up on breastfeeding hundreds of times. Literally... it's crossded my mind hundreds of times. The first month felt so easy. My doctor used the analogy that my nipples are like a new pair of shoes and it's going to hurt til they get broken in. I religiously used an organic nipple balm called Boob-Ease. It was the best thing in the world until my breasts got used to all the feedings. But after week 3, I was feeling really good! I laid off the Boob-ease and things were smooth sailing. It wasn't until around 6 or 7 weeks that easy street came to a halt. Breastfeeding became painful. I had read horrible things in Ina May Gaskins Guide to Breastfeeding about clogged ducts, milk blisters, mastitis, blebs and thrush.
My first trouble came with clogged ducts. One night during one of Anthony's feedings I literally had to bite down on his burp cloth while he tried to latch on. The pain was excruciating. I kept thinking this cannot be normal. I called the doctor in the morning and their lactation consultant returned my message and suggested using different feeding positions. So I did. I had been strictly doing the cradle hold so instead I tried the football hold, and side lying, and then even a reverse side lying position where I put him upside down from me. The best thing that relieved the plugged ducts for me was whereever it was clogged, was to have Anthonys chin hitting. I had read if you were feeling full after a feeding or when the baby slept through a feeding to pump. So I did that since I was wanting to start a reserve of breastmilk for when I returned to work.
A week of the clogged ducts in alternating breasts, but mostly the left breast continued to reoccur. I was miserable. I started taking Lecithin capsules which are said to help relieve clogged ducts. I started feeling normal again one day, then the following day I was back again with another painful clogged duct. Then one night after trying to relieve a clogged duct all day, I felt very run down and feverish. It came on so quickly. I took my temperature and it was already 101. I crawled into bed with Anthony beside me in his bassinet and Eddie called the doctor. She called in a prescription to start antibiotics for Mastitis to start immediatly. It was late...already after 10pm on a saturday evening, so we had to find a 24 hour pharmacy. I took the first dose around 11pm and my fever had increased to 103. The hardest part about the fever was that I still had to get up for Anthony's feedings to nurse him still trying to relieve the clogged ducts. All I wanted to do was bury my cold, teeth chattering body under the covers and sleep until the fever subsided. But I couldn't. I soldiered on. Sunday morning came but my fever remained at 100 til about 3pm that day where it finally broke.
By Monday my breasts were still very much in pain and clogged and it still hurt alot for Anthony to latch onto me without biting down on something...a pillow or burp cloth at every feeding. So I called the doctor again. She called in an additional antibiotic to start taking. I was very hesitant to start another antibiotic. So I reached out to some friends for referrals for a lactation consultant. I kept thinking to myself...why has this gotten so painful, difficult and out of control? I cried to Eddie that night. I couldn't do this anymore. I felt selfish, incredibly guilty for not wanting to nourish my baby from me anymore, but I wanted my body back. I wanted the pain to go away and I could not see a light at the end of the tunnel and felt completely alone. The thought of going back to work was scary and approaching fast. I had less than two weeks left of maternity leave so I was really starting to stress since I had been dealing with this pain for two weeks.
Wednesday that week I finally narrowed my search to two lactation consultants to conact and wrote them an email of desperation. I was at my wits end with breastfeeding and this was my final attempt. I recieved a phone call later that day from one of the lactation consultants and she scheduled me for a visit that Friday and suggested to continue to hold off on the 2nd antibiotic til she saw me.
Friday came and Eddie, myself and Anthony all headed to see the LC. That woman changed my life. Her outlook, her knowledge, her dedication to helping me was the most encouraging moment when I all I wanted to do was give up. She took one look at me and said it was thrush. Turns out, I did not have mastitis. I had thrush of the nipples and breasts. Which is basically an infection but antibiotics can be the cause of it. Granted I had the symptoms prior to taking the antibiotics, the antibiotic my doctor prescribed me over the phone just made the thrush worse. She also taught us a lot about Anthony...the fact that he is tongue tied, and that could cause latching problems which would result in my ducts getting clogged. She didn't believe it was serious enough to have his tongue clipped, but showed me several ways to make the latch between him and I a better fit. She was able to tell me I had an abundance of milk and I need to get that under control because that can also cause clogged ducts. She also treated my left nipple bleb by inserting a needle to release the milk that had gotten clogged in there. She gave me a plan to stick with for the next two weeks and to come back then to be revaluated. Her advice all worked and I was feeling better within 3 days.
UPDATE: 1/14/2015
I've been fortunate to be able to continue breastfeeding Anthony. He's going on 7 months old and I'm so proud of myself to be able to say that I have nourished his little body for so long and so well. He has never been sick, thank God, and I truly believe it's made a huge difference that I stuck with it.
